


Unpredictable

by Akitokitoa_chan



Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, HeTian is whipped, Hurt Mo Guan Shan, M/M, OOC, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:41:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25492513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akitokitoa_chan/pseuds/Akitokitoa_chan
Summary: Sometimes HeTian can't read Mo GuanShan.But sometimes, that's okay.(My take on what happened after the latest chapter)
Relationships: He Tian & Mo Guanshan (19 Days)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 135





	Unpredictable

The ride back home from the hospital was quiet. A few hours ago, HeTian had dislocated his shoulder, twisted his ankle, and injured his ribs in a landslide. Jian Yi and Zhan Zheng Xi hadn’t accompanied HeTian to the hospital. Their parents were worried and HeTian didn’t blame them when they departed. But Mo GuanShan stayed. HeTian didn’t question that either. He hadn’t _spoken_ to Mo GuanShan after what had happened. All he remembers was a burst of adrenaline in his body, the fight response kicking in when he saw Mo in the tracks of the approaching disaster.

__

_ He couldn’t lose Mo GuanShan.  _

So he sacrificed his limbs and ribs. The Doctor has recommended bed rest for a month but even that wouldn’t guarantee a quick recovery. For all they know, it could take a few months minimum. His brother had rushed to the hospital they were at and berated Brother Qiu and him. He tried to defend Brother Qiu but his brother shut him up. HeTian didn’t want to fight back this time. He was drained and tired.

Throughout, Mo GuanShan didn’t utter a word. He just observed everything silently. Usually, HeTian would be able to bring out a reaction from GuanShan. Any reaction. But today he didn’t want to bother the boy. He had had a near-death experience. Of course, he was shaken up.

The only form of communication he had with Mo was him telling him to go home. That Brother Qiu would drop him home. He didn’t answer but got into the car with HeTian anyway. He took that a yes.

There was obvious tension in the air. It was unsettling. Mo GuanShan was being eerily quiet, his gaze focused outside the window. For the first time, HeTian felt anxious around him. Mo GuanShan made him feel a lot of things but anxiety was not one of them.

From where he was sitting, his knee would often brush against Mo GuanShan’s. Mo GuanShan wouldn’t even flinch but HeTian managed to make a fool of himself by jumping in his seat. He spent the rest of the journey anticipating.

HeTian’s apartment was on the route so Brother Qiu was going to drop him off first and then drive Mo GuanShan back to his place.

“Thanks for the ride,” HeTian felt the need to say. He had greatly inconvenienced Brother Qiu today. But he also said it to gain a certain someone’s attention.

But GuanShan didn’t spare him a glance. HeTian gulped at his failure and got out the car with great and exaggerated difficulty. That didn’t catch GuanShan’s attention at all.

HeTian gave up.

“I'll see you, Mo GuanShan,” HeTian said before closing the door. He’d almost forgotten what it was like to call him by that name. He’d gotten so used to calling him nicknames but right now, it wasn’t the right atmosphere for it.

GuanShan didn’t respond. HeTian turned and limped away.

When he reached the elevator, he heard the car drive away, with Mo GuanShan.

He sighed and raised his hand to press the elevator button but another arm beat him to it.

“What are you doing here?” He asked the owner of the arm.

“You’re hurt. And I need money. So..” Mo GuanShan didn’t look at him but it made HeTian smile anyway.

“Alright,”

\--

Like the car, the ride up the building was silent too.

HeTian kept eyeing the boy beside him who stood a little too far from him. He noticed a patch of dirt on Mo’s neck, right below his undercut. He raised his hand a little too naturally but decided against touching the boy.

He dropped his hand to his side.

The itch in his hand to touch Mo GuanShan only grew.

Once they reached the door, HeTian slid his hand in his back pocket to withdraw his key but Mo beat him to it yet again, using his spare key to unlock the door. 

Without uttering a word, Mo drifted to the kitchen.  Normally, HeTian would've pestered GuanShan into bathing him but he decided against it. He's gonna have to get through it himself, like always. He limps to the bedroom and empties his pockets. 

He carefully seats himself on the bed, finally catching his breath. He glances in the direction of the kitchen before his mind wanders to the events that transpired today. 

Cooking and eating together. Going for a swim and the godforsaken landslide. 

But the memory that lingers in HeTian’s mind is that of the tight embrace Mo GuanShan had locked him in. 

He remembers narrowly escaping all the rubble and getting knocked out for a few minutes before someone’s frantic cries snapped him awake. 

Mo GuanShan’s voice expressed emotion than his actual face. He’d heard his angry voice, annoying voice, and even his weak voice. But the voice he heard today was that of fear and desperation. He heard GuanShan yelling for him, the hopelessness in his broken voice. HeTian was tired and simply planned on taking a nap until his friends located him. But after hearing GuanShan, he raised his good hand, signaling them. 

“I'm here..” he called weakly.

Needless to say, they rushed to him and when Mo GuanShan came into his line of sight, HeTian’s breath hitched. He disguised his confusion and pain with his characteristic smile as a breathless GuanShan approached him. He noticed the instability in GuanShan’s walk. _Is he hurt?_ He even noticed his bloody fingers. _Was he digging through all that rubble?_

He tried to play it cool when he saw GuanShan’s panic-stricken face. 

He tried to smile it off when he heard GuanShan’s shattered voice. 

“I thought you’d fucking died..” He didn’t forget to swear even in such a situation. 

“Almost,” He was suddenly too afraid of meeting his eyes. 

But he couldn’t keep up his façade when Mo GuanShan locked his hands around HeTian’s neck. In Mo’s embrace, he finally felt safe. 

He wrapped a weak arm around his waist, urging him closer. He didn’t expect GuanShan to pick up on it but he did. GuanShan tightened the hug, their chests pressed against each other. GuanShan’s body trembled against his, their hearts next to each other, pounding in sync. 

_ He’s here. He’s safe. He’s not gone.  _

Jian Yi and Zhan Zheng Xi ran to their side, to check up on him. They asked him if he was okay and a bunch of other questions but it was hard to concentrate on anything other than the boy in his arms. 

GuanShan’s heart was still beating erratically and HeTian didn’t want to let go of him until his little heart finally calmed down. They didn’t peel away from each other until Brother Qiu reached them. Even as Qiu approached them, Mo seemed a little too reluctant to let go of HeTian, his fists clutching the fabric of HeTian’s shirt. But when he did let go, he let go for good. 

After that, he didn’t even look at HeTian. 

HeTian inhaled and ran his hands through his hair.

Mo GuanShan was a complicated boy but once he opens up, he’s rather to easy understand. But today, HeTian couldn’t read his mind. And it stung him that he hadn’t figured out Mo GuanShan like he thought he had. 

He still can’t predict him.

HeTian almost stood up but paused when Mo GuanShan entered the room with a tray in hand. 

“Soup” He muttered. HeTian observed as Mo GuanShan bent and placed the tray onto the bed. 

“Thank you,” HeTian said. 

Mo GuanShan stood around awkwardly as HeTian drank his soup. But he disappeared into the bathroom before HeTian could say anything. 

As HeTian gulped down the last of the soup, Mo emerged with a vessel of water and a cloth. He put the empty bowl away and knelt in front of HeTian who simply shot him a quizzical look. 

Responding to HeTian’s questioning look, Mo leaned forward and lifted the hem of HeTian’s shirt. But HeTian flinched and pulled away involuntarily. Mo gaped at him, an unreadable expression on his face before he stood up. 

“Sorry. I uh I crossed the line—“The Redhead turned on his heels to leave but HeTian caught his hand just in time, the itch in his hand finally calming. 

“I'm sorry. Please continue. Please,” HeTian said, a little too panicked. 

Mo GuanShan nodded. 

He resumed his former position and helped HeTian out of his shirt. It hung on his right arm as Mo drenched the cloth in the water and squeezed the excess water out. 

When Mo’s icy hands touched HeTian’s, the latter hissed. Mo paused but after a reassuring glance from HeTian, he continued. He wiped the dirt off his torso, carefully covering every nook and cranny of HeTian’s broad chest. HeTian focused his eyes on Mo, whose eyes instead shifted from HeTian’s chest and then to his chiseled abs. 

HeTian gulped, trying to peel his eyes off of GuanShan but failing miserably. He knows Mo can feel his burning gaze on him but he’s choosing not to say anything. This goes on for a while, HeTian only exhaled once Mo’s hands were no longer on him. 

But those nimble fingers came back to his skin, now trailing over his ribs. HeTian tensed at first but he let Mo GuanShan do what he wanted to. 

But GuanShan was too close. Right between his legs. 

HeTian held his breath as Mo analyzed his body. He was getting closer and closer as if lost in a trance. An unfamiliar expression adorned Mo's face and it scared HeTian. 

Mo leaned closer, the back of his neck exposed and HeTian's eyes landed on that patch of dirt again. 

But only this time, he didn't stop himself. 

_ _

_ He couldn't stop himself.  _

His thumb wiped the mud away and Mo flinched, finally registering what he was doing and retreated his hands back to his body. But he didn't pull away. 

"Just some..dirt," HeTian wiped the smudge, his eyes locked with Mo GuanShan's. 

They stayed that way for a while, just looking at each other, finally taking each other's appearance in. And HeTian realized that this was the first time he was properly looking at Mo GuanShan after the landslide. 

As HeTian massaged the spot on his neck, Mo GuanShan visibly relaxed. And before he could register anything, the boy was in HeTian's arms again. 

He didn't know if it was him who had pulled Mo or if it was Mo. All he knew was that with Mo in his arms, he finally felt  _home._

"HeTian" Mo quivered in his embrace and HeTian felt warm wetness in the crook of his neck. 

_ Mo GuanShan is crying.  _

Mo GuanShan held him tighter, just like he had on the mountain. But this time he didn't let go. 

"Why?" He asked and HeTian smiled. 

He knew what Mo was asking him. He knew all too well.

_ Why did you save me? _

_ Why did you endanger yourself? _

_ Why are you always endangering yourself for me? _

Usually, he'd be all for telling him upfront. But today he felt a little self-conscious. 

"You already know the answer GuanShan," He whispered, strength leaving his lips.  Mo let out a weak whimper, crying harder into HeTian's shoulder. 

"I'm not worth it, HeTian" 

Mo GuanShan rarely ever calls him with that name. But when he does, it makes HeTian's heart flutter because he knows how much affection and care his name holds. 

"You're worth it. You're worth everything." HeTian knows he sounds cheesy but e also knows that it reassures Mo. 

He had come to realize that Mo GuanShan has never come to love himself. He deems himself pathetic and worthless. But He doesn't understand the worth his entire _being_ holds for HeTian. 

Mo GuanShan means too much to HeTian. 

"What about you?" HeTian asks and Mo pulls back to face him. They're a little too close and HeTian probably smells like soup but Mo didn't seem to mind. 

"What about me?" Mo diverts his eyes to a random spot on the wall. 

"What happened to you today? Why did you ignore me so much if you were so worried?" He asks, his thumb hesitantly sliding across his cheek. 

Mo just stared at him, trying to form words. After a moment of silence, he spoke up. 

"I realized too many things today. And it overwhelmed me," Mo's eyes shifted over HeTian's features. 

"Like what?" HeTian's voice is barely a whisper. 

"Like...I didn't want to lose you," Mo confessed and something inside HeTian snapped. He leaned in and pressed a lingering kiss on the corner of Mo's lips. 

HeTian had been showing Mo lots of physical affection but a kiss by the lips was a little too intimate even for HeTian. But he had to get his already obvious feelings across to Mo without frightening him. 

No one had cared about him before. He had craved affection and love from the people around him. So much that he had become a different person. 

It was Mo who saw him for who he was. It attracted HeTian so much and soon his obsession grew into something tender. 

_ Love _

He began craving for love from someone he initially thought was the last person to reciprocate. Bt he quickly realized how _warm_ Mo GuanShan was.

Mo opened his eyes, which he doesn't remember closing and gazed at HeTian. 

HeTian gulped, trying to read GuanShan's expression. 

But unpredictability is sometimes good. 

Mo leaned closer and pressed a kiss onto HeTian's lips. HeTian bit back a yelp and kissed back. It was short and sweet, Mo's lips trembling against HeTian's. 

Mo pulled back and rested his head onto HeTian's shoulder, hiding the blush creeping up his face. 

HeTian smiled, mustering all his strength and pulling Mo GuanShan till he was properly sitting on his lap. And GuanShan let him. 

Mo GuanShan reciprocated the hug. 

"What are we?" He asked. 

"We can be whatever you want us to be" HeTian rubbed soothing circles on GuanShan's back. 

"Can we just...be us?" Mo sounds a little unsure but HeTian quickly reassures him.

"That sounds good, Little Mo."

He feels GuanShan smile against his skin and it sends his heart fluttering. He snuggles into him.

_ That sounds perfect.  _

**Author's Note:**

> The latest chapter was so beautiful and I just had to write this :):)  
> Kudos and comments are appreciated.  
> Yall can find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/jkkittae?s=09)


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